Reverse Culture Shock

People who have lived abroad often find that the adjustment to returning home is more difficult than their adjustment to the foreign culture. Why? Well, expectations play a major role. We expect to have some difficulty when we go to a new place, speak a different language and learn the rules of a different culture . . . But home? . . . we know that place!

I returned form my one-year study abroad in Germany to an America that was amazingly ignorant and indifferent about the rest of the world; an America that thought its way was the only way; an America of superficial, plastic people who couldn't carry on a political discussion to save their lives; an America that was unbelievably wasteful and careless with the environment. This wasn't the same country that I had left just one short year ago, was it? What had changed?

While you may know your home, you may not realize how much you have changed after being gone. In adjusting to life in a new culture, your perceptions, habits, and maybe even values have changed, perhaps without your awareness, to fit in with the cultural context of your host country. At the same time, you've probably carried around in your head a wonderful mental picture of your home environment. All of a sudden, when you get home, reality just doesn't measure up to that picture.

This is a common occurrence, and the best way of addressing it is simply to be aware of the source of your negative feelings. Be assured that in time, you will be able to incorporate an appreciation for the positive aspects of each culture at home as well as abroad.

My parents don't understand me now. They expect me to be the same person I was before I went abroad, but I'm not! Why can't they let me be myself?

Family members and friends are often surprised by the behavior of returnees. Their expectation is that the same person who boarded the airplane one year ago will be returning. Especially if they have never been abroad, your parents and friends probably don't understand the magnitude of the study abroad experience and the changes it will cause in a person. By the same token, you may have maintained an ideal mental image of your loved ones while abroad, an image that is shattered when you return and see them "warts and all."

Remember the different lifestyle you have been leading. If you had a host family, you may have become accustomed not only to their lifestyle, but their values and norms as well, which are probably different from those of your own family. Whether or not you lived with a host family, you have probably become very independent, structuring your life just as you wished. Now that you're home again, you will be expected to conform again to the lifestyle of your family, giving up some of that freedom. As a result, you may interpret your parents' involvement in your life as overprotective and restrictive.

Communication is the key to overcoming this problem. Tell your parents how you are feeling. Share with them information about cultural re-entry, and ask them to be patient. They will be eager to help you and will wait for you to adjust. This does not mean that you have to renounce your experience and give up everything you've learned! Learn to strike a balance between the old and new, just as you did when first adjusting to your host country's culture.

Good friends should also be willing to understand that you have gone through some changes, and that coming home presents some difficulties for you. However, you may find that you have grown apart from some friends, that you no longer have the same interests, or that your old friends don't meet the needs that you have. It may become necessary to find new friends. Seek out other students who have studied abroad. They will be able to relate to your experience and provide you with the support you need to get through re-entry.

Friends of mine are always asking, "So, how was Germany?" How should I answer that question? When I try to talk about my life abroad, they start to look bored after a short time and then change the subject to talk about who is dating whom, or whatever. Nobody is interested in my experiences.

Yes, they probably are interested, but once again, you've had an experience that they may be incapable of comprehending. Don't be offended if your friends don't appear very enthusiastic about your stories. You are speaking of people and places with which they have no connection. There is also the possibility that some people might be jealous of the opportunity that you have had, and they might think that you are bragging or "showing off." Also remember that time didn't stop while you were gone. Life went on and there are issues with which your friends are concerned that have nothing to do with your time abroad, but which are as important to them as your experience is to you.

When asked about your time abroad, keep your stories brief and general. Avoid going into too much detail about the people you met or about complicated issues which people who haven't been to the country would know nothing about. Avoid excessive comparisons between the U.S.A. and your host culture. Arrange your photos and slides so that people can get a good overall idea of your experience and show them if asked.

One suggestion is to find a more receptive audience. Come in to The International Center (N52 Memorial Union) and talk to the staff. They're always interested in hearing about the experiences of students abroad. Take advantage of opportunities to meet other study abroad alumni. They are generally more interested and more capable of understanding your experiences than people who stayed home, and will themselves be looking for someone with whom to share their stories. Another suggestion is to participate in new study abroad student recruitment and orientation at MU. From working as a peer advisor to giving presentations in language classes, there are numerous ways for you to share your experience with others. The Study Abroad Contact/Activites Information Form lists a number of activities for returned study abroad students to get involved in.

My year abroad was a great adventure. I learned so much about myself and about another culture. I have become more independent and am much more aware of what goes on in the world than I was before I left.

Recognize the changes that have occurred in you and the new skills you have learned as a result of your study abroad experience. These skills will serve you well as you reintegrate into life at your home campus and in your future. Study abroad can make you:

• More independent. You had to learn to fend for yourself in a foreign culture and adapt to a new way of doing things.
• More aware of international issues. You have stepped outside the protective comfort of home to see that people in the world have many concerns that Americans are not at all aware of. You may be better at determining the completeness and objectivity of news reports, which are often steeped in cultural bias.
• Sensitive to differences in people. Having immersed yourself in a different culture, you have seen that there are very different ways of doing, thinking, feeling and communicating. This can help you in relationships with people at home, people whose values and customs might be different from yours, but not any less valid or "normal" than yours.
• Competent in another language. If your studies were in a language other than English, you have probably greatly increased your proficiency in that language. People with foreign language skills are still rare in this country, so you have a skill that sets you apart.

Now that I'm back, I want to utilize my new skills and incorporate my new global perspective into my everyday activities. I don't just want to close the book on my international experience.

There are several ways you can become active internationally at MU (adapted from: Planning and Conducting Re-Entry Orientations):

• Interact/Work with international students at MU. Become involved with the International Center, live in International House, attend international activities on campus, or simply become a friend to an international student. Join one of the many international student organizations on campus or become involved with the International Programming Committee.
• Continue language learning. Take additional language courses or join language clubs. Exchange tutoring in your native tongue with someone who speaks your second language. French and Spanish speakers at MU can also live in the French or Spanish learning communities in the residence halls.
• Assist in the Study Abroad Office. Apply for a peer advisor position or join the volunteer corps to help spread the word about study abroad on campus. Participate in the selection and orientation of the next group of students going to your host country.
• Learn more about your host country. Use your firsthand knowledge of another country as a basis for taking related courses such as geography, history and international relations. Build on your knowledge by reading newspapers and books, viewing films, and basing research projects and papers on your host culture. Use additional information gained in these ways to make presentations about your experience more interesting.
• Investigate international careers. Visit the Career Planning and Placement Center or browse through the resource materials at the International Center. Consider foreign service, international development agencies, overseas teaching, travel agencies, volunteer groups (Peace Corps), or businesses which need employees who are bilingual and/or multi-cultural in perspective.
• Volunteer to work in the community or on campus. Help organizations that support community service and development. Look for groups working with immigrants, refugees, or the aged, that can use your skills of listening, patience, and empathy.
• Keep in touch with your experience. Write your friends in your host country; address and stamp at least two envelopes so you write at least twice a year! Keep up-to-date by sending photos. Write a letter to your host institution explaining what the experience meant to you. Subscribe to a host country newspaper or read current issues in the library. Plan a return visit to your host country or invite friends to come to the US.
• Integrate the best of the two cultures. Don't feel you must give up one at the expense of the other!

After graduation you still have many international options to explore. Consider joining the Peace Corps, or some other organization to help people in developing countries. Look for international job opportunities, perhaps teaching English in Eastern Europe or Asia, for example. Finally, look toward a career that will allow you to continue your international contacts and use the skills you have developed as a study abroad student. These skills are increasingly valuable in the growing global marketplace, and potential employers look favorably on applicants with international experience. They need bright, independent thinkers with good intercultural skills.