Before arriving in the U.K., I thought I was having a tough time — between my exchange program in Manchester, England, being canceled, then later delayed by a year, along with COVID causing major delays in the passport process (back in 2020, I thought this would be the hardest part of getting to the UK), only to further spend hundreds of dollars as the dislocation of my visa impeded my original travel plans only two days before I was meant to leave for my program in September. In hindsight, I’m finding that although these events were difficult and tedious as they further lengthened the two-year process of going abroad, initially making me think I would never get abroad, they ultimately factored into my perseverance, my need, of going to the UK. Each circumstance, once resolved, gave me a reason to say “Well, if I put myself through all that, and I can still make it work, then I have to go.”

After my program was canceled twice, I decided against going at all, instead of settling into the idea of pursuing an accelerated master’s degree which would run simultaneously as the last year of my bachelor’s degree. However, I ultimately decided that my priority lay in studying abroad, specifically in the United Kingdom. I had never been out of the country, and I couldn’t see another opportunity (and such an affordable one!) presenting itself to me after I had graduated. I can always go back to school; studying in an exchange program is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, as cliched as one may say. Although she is no longer with International Programs at Mizzou, I can truly say that without my former study abroad adviser’s help, I would have given up on my goal to study abroad a long time ago. It was through obscenely long Zoom calls, constant reminders of the opportunities travel abroad could provide and offhand chats about Jane Austen that got me through the worst of my persistent mental battle of “should I just quit now?” So special thanks to AnDrea Jackson for being a literal saving grace in the monstrosity that was planning a study abroad trip during a pandemic.

Each of these factors made me more than ecstatic to finally go to the U.K., and when my family dropped me off at the airport, sniffling into their sleeves, I was smiling. I would miss them, terribly, but that day, all I could think about was that I was finally achieving something after two years. I arrived in the U.K., no SIM card, no service, on a Saturday afternoon. The accommodation’s office failed to inform me that they would be out of office, although we had communicated my arrival date beforehand, so without any cell service or data (yeah, could have planned that one better), I had no way of calling the number they left on the door for someone to pick me up and take me to my hall. I got lucky when two students were passing by and let me borrow their phone; disaster effectively avoided. I went to the city center that evening to buy the items I would need to live for the first few days, promptly went back to my flat and had a freak out about the strangeness of this new place.

The first night, I was inconsolable. As much as you prepare, the culture shock is so intense at first, you are in a form of grief for your home country. Paired with jet lag and a time change, I felt like a part of me was lost. I told my mom I was coming home; I couldn’t do it. And I’m not a quitter; as I mentioned above, I fought to get to the U.K. for two years. This, however, was something different. A friend from Mizzou, who is also studying at the University of Manchester, explained that being in the U.K. for the first time made her feel like she was on a life raft in the middle of the ocean, unable to reach her family, incapable of connecting with this strange, foreign place. It took about a week and having to seriously put myself out there with making friends, for me to feel as at home here as I can possibly feel. I no longer think of myself as an outsider here; there is a constant reminder of the cultural differences and the fact that I am from a foreign country, but this is not an experience I would trade. I would absolutely encourage someone to study abroad if they were looking into it. It’s hard, you’re going to feel isolated and maybe a little heartbroken for your motherland, but the experience of being abroad is absolutely worth it. I’ve already made many connections and friendships that I know are going to last well beyond my year in Manchester.