One thing that comes with studying abroad is the inevitability of being alone, probably more often than you ever have been in your life. At this point in my semester, I have spent time in three countries alone: Italy (obvs), France and Switzerland — in that order. And I can say that every time I have gone out by myself to do something, whether it’s a meal, a walk, a museum, a flight or a train ride, I have felt my comfort and confidence in myself grow.

At first, especially in Italy, I felt so out of place when I was alone. I felt like everyone was looking at me, wondering, “why is she alone?” or “I wonder if her friends ditched her,” or “does she not have any friends?” The list is endless and irrational, but very real to me, and I’m sure to other solo travelers as well. But I also realized something, I am not living this experience for anyone else; I am doing it for myself.

So, why should I skip a museum or a restaurant or an unbooked weekend if no one was able to come with me? I shouldn’t. And that’s all there is to it.

Throughout my time alone traveling, I have gained so much knowledge about myself and how I view myself. I have tried to stop living as if everyone was watching all the time because we can all understand the performative living, even if we don’t do it consciously. Sitting in restaurants alone is no longer incredibly daunting, even if it’s still a little stressful sometimes. I can sit at a table and enjoy sitting there, just with myself. Obviously, I engage in a little people-watching, sometimes a little eavesdropping if it can’t be ignored, but more than that, there is so much freedom in being alone with your thoughts. The same can be said about strolling through museums alone. I don’t feel rushed or pressured to spend more time looking at famous pieces of art that I’m expected to adore.

For example, I spent three and a half hours walking around the Louvre alone, which was magical. That is such a gigantic and overwhelming museum, but it didn’t really feel like it because I was entirely in control of how I spent my time. I saw everything I wanted to see and then followed where my interest led. There is so much freedom in having the space to do that, but there is also a lot of decision-making involved. That side of solo travel forced me to really consider what I wanted to do with my time and helped me make feel sure about my choices and what I hoped to do while in these places.

I’m sure many people wonder why I’m alone or don’t agree with solo travel because, let’s face it, I look like a tourist most of the time, so they know I’m doing the travel thing by myself. But I also know there are people out there, especially women, who are cheering me on and congratulating me for taking that step and being brave enough to do it. And I’m not tooting my own horn, I just know how hard it can be, and I am incredibly proud and in awe of the women who do it for long periods of time and consistently throughout their lives. Because, despite what I have learned traveling alone, I have also learned that I enjoy traveling with people more. I think that’s a misconception about traveling alone: that you have to love it or you aren’t brave and exciting and impressive. I do like it, but I love group travel more. That doesn’t make me any less of a traveler, it just means that I know what my preferences are. I also would have never understood this about myself if I hadn’t given solo travel a try.

So, I will forever be thankful for pushing myself to travel alone — because, believe me, it took some serious convincing and hyping myself up — as it helped me grow in my self-confidence and helped me realize so many other things about myself and my preferences. I don’t have any more solo trips planned, but at least now I know that I can do it if I have to, but also if I want to.

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Learn more about this blogger’s study abroad program: John Cabot University