I arrived in Florence on the 28th of August and stayed in a hotel for two days until I could move into my student housing. My hotel was on Via del Sole, and right in front was a Mexican restaurant. I am a first-generation American, and all afternoon I contemplated going across the street to check it out. I was intimidated by being in a new country and frankly wanted to stay inside until I had to attend my apartment. Eventually, I had to go to a mini-mart, and so I decided to go to Raíces, the Mexican restaurant, which boasted a Mexican flag in front along with the words “authentic.” When I entered I was greeted in Spanish– all the anxiety and discomfort I had felt all day was expelled from my body. I immediately felt the relief of being understood, and knowing the culture around me. I was about to sit at a table alone when a group of people called me over. “Siéntate aquí!” It wasn’t a request, and I didn’t hesitate to ask for permission as I sat at the table, desperate to connect. I found out that the four individuals were all Mexican, and one was from the United States like me. Two of the women had come to study from Mexico, one of them was working as a nanny in France but currently touring Italy while on a small break, the last was a film photographer from Arizona. I had come to find out that none of us had known each other before a few hours ago, that each individual had come into this restaurant alone, and in doing so we had created community within each other, within the bond of our roots and the uncertainty of being in a foreign country. How fitting that the restaurant was also named Raíces, which translates to roots in Spanish.

After dinner, Renata (who has lived in Florence for a year now) took us to the best Gelato spot in town. And I felt comfort in knowing everything would be okay in my forced growth. I think more than ever I feel great pride in my parents for coming to the United States and making a life for themselves. Although our experiences are different, I came on a plane and with belonging and a plan– they came because it was the only option left. As I grow older, my appreciation for them grows as well– they are incredibly courageous to come to a country not knowing the language or customs and call it their home. Gratitude is the emotion that has hit me the hardest during my short time here. I have felt such gratitude to the University of Missouri for assisting me in traveling here, and I see the importance of my being here as well.

All the other American students I have met are from big cities on the East and West Coasts. I believe I am the only one from the Midwest and I feel so blessed to be in a space that seems to be for students with bigger worlds. Not only do I feel foreign in the country, but I feel foreign around my roommates and classmates. Culturally, I have always felt the isolation of being Mexican-American in the United States. I am too brown to be fully accepted by the majority, and too Americanized to be fully accepted by Mexicans. However, this sentiment is so much stronger in Italy. I was introduced to Mexican girls my age and treated nicely, but once I revealed I was American, they revoked my identity. I became a “chicana” to them, but this wasn’t a label that was said matter of fact, instead, it was a label of judgment. Along with this, I felt immense pressure to defend myself and my parents for being American, as they made fun of my parents for chasing the American Dream. These comments and sentiments happened with people my age. But the friends I made at Raíces were older and without judgment.

The 31st was my friend’s last day in Florence before she headed to Venice, we went to Pizza de Michelangelo together and watched the sunset. She showed me how to use the bus: You must buy tickets at a tobacco store, and then validate them on the bus. We went to buy a new SIM card for my phone because the eSim was not super reliable. And we had dinner and met with friends later in the evening. She is very kind and I am very glad to have met her. Lastly, I went to the home goods store on my first day in the apartment. Italy reminds me a lot of Mexico– the walking, the stores, the restaurants, and especially the houses. Going to the home goods store was my favorite part because I felt I belonged. I wasn’t buying souvenirs or novelties instead I was buying items because I live here. I have been very homesick, but I am grateful that my family and friends are very accommodating to my texts and calls. I’m so glad to have made friends on my very first day here, and I’m so excited to learn Italian, about the culture, and really feel comfortable. I think that in two weeks I will be fully engaged in a routine. Thank you to Mizzou for giving me this amazing opportunity!

 

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Learn more about this blogger’s study abroad program: Florence University of the Arts