Arguably one of the best parts of Europe is the cheap and easy transportation between countries. Although I’m studying abroad in Spain, I will have visited seven different countries by the time I return home. Typically, these trips are taken with my friends, either from Mizzou or ones I’ve made here. However, sometimes schedules don’t align, or a destination belongs solely on your bucket list, resulting in a solo trip. Trips that once seemed terrifying and lonely now hold some of my most cherished moments.

Two of my biggest trips so far have been done solo: Paris, France and Cork, Ireland. I hadn’t even realized how much I depended on my friends while traveling, until they weren’t there. The entire itinerary was my responsibility, I couldn’t rely on someone else’s phone being charged enough to pull up directions, no one was there to help me translate if needed. There wasn’t anyone making sure I was where I needed to be on time, and the cherry on top was not having my personal photographers with me. Things I normally depended on five other people to help me with were now up to just me.

Not to mention one of the most important factors: the peace of mind that comes with being around others as a traveling teenage girl. At first, my mind was racing with all the possibilities of things that could go wrong. There were several times when the whole thing felt completely overwhelming. I found myself thinking “What in the world am I doing being here alone?” and “I just want to go home.”

However, the thing about being hundreds of miles from anyone you know is that you just have to figure it out, alone. There is no other option, and there is no better feeling than when you finally do. I slowly started to find the perks of being in a new, beautiful and exciting place all by myself. Being in charge of the itinerary meant I got to do and see whatever I wanted. Relying on just myself meant I learned responsibility.

If I wanted to know something, I built up the courage to ask- even if it was in another language. I learned to be extremely aware of both my time and surroundings. My thoughts quickly turned into those of gratitude, especially to Apple for the 0.5 camera feature. I found comfort in my own company and was forced to be more present than I had been in a really long time.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss the chatter at the dinner table or laughing at someone’s joke until there were tears rolling down my face, but there is something so special about experiencing something alone, almost indescribable. By being more intentional with my time and learning about a new place, I also learned a lot about myself.

I had unlimited and uninterrupted time to soak up where I was in that moment, and then unashamedly feel however I did about it. Even looking back on these trips, it feels like a little secret between me and those moments and places. Little corners of the world that I never have to share, nor could I ever forget.

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Learn more about this blogger’s study abroad program: ALI Abroad: University of Alicante