This month, I finally feel like I’ve settled in socially. It’s only taken about three months. I met a large amount of people when I first got here. It was overwhelming and wonderful. They’re all lovely and were in the same position as me, since we met in a preparatory German course. Everyone was new to the city at least, if not the country, if not Europe as a whole. Being surrounded by people in the same situation naturally made it easier to make friends, just like when I was a freshman at Mizzou. Everyone wanted to make friends, too.

There is a barrier that I’ve found in my relationships here. Part of it is that I’m so used to my friends at home and I haven’t had to make new friends in like three years. Part of it is that this was a random group of people, not people I attracted or chose. Part of it is the language barrier. We all talk in English, since that is easier for many people since some of us are at an A2 level in German while others are higher. Despite that, there’s a language barrier when most of the people around you don’t speak English natively. That isn’t to say their English is bad, far from it. Their English is excellent and I cannot imagine trying to make friends in a non-native language. It’s part of why I haven’t really made much of an effort to make German friends. That barrier of expression is too much for me. The taste of it I’ve had being surrounded by so many non-native speakers of my language is saddening sometimes, but it’s outweighed by the wonder and joy of meeting so many people from all over the world.

I have friends from the U.K., Greece, Italy, Brazil, Australia, South Korea and many more. I have learned so much about everyone’s countries that I never would have unless I’d met them, and for that I am eternally grateful. The difficulty of expression for me is both linguistic and cultural. My jokes don’t always land, my reactions are sometimes wrong, my additions are not always welcome. It’s a learning process and I’m happy to have it. It’s making me better at talking to people that aren’t like me, something that I’ve never really bothered to practice in the U.S. Now, I’ve settled into my classes and have a few people I see regularly and a little bit larger of a group that I hang out with sometimes, but it’s not the massive group of the course.

I’ve also befriended one of the tutors in my course who is German because she’s in two of my linguistics classes, but all of my linguistics classes are in English, so I talk in English with her. It’s a little disappointing that I’m not actually surrounded by German while I’m in Germany and I’m far too shy to branch out on my own. That doesn’t mean I’m not practicing and I’m still immersed, but I don’t get to practice my speaking all that much. I have a German class, which helps and the preparatory course did help as well. It’s just not as much as it could be. I feel like I’ve started finally coming out of my shell here. I was in a sort of fight-or-flight mode where I was scared to talk to people and I wasn’t comfortable enough to be myself. I’ve started to shed that now, and it feels really good. I’ve found the niche where I fit and I’m happy with it.

At first, I was so homesick and lonely that I decided to never live anywhere but the U.S. A bit dramatic, but that’s how I felt. Now, I feel like I could live here just fine. Of course, there’d be challenges, but the main issue was the loneliness. What I missed most from home was less the U.S. itself, but my friends and family. And I still miss them of course, I feel most myself with them and am the most comfortable with them, but the better I fit with my group of people, the more I feel like I could take on any challenge here, and that will only get stronger with time. So if I do go to grad school here, I’m not worried. It will be hard at first to adjust and find people, but once I do, I’ll be happy anywhere I am.

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Learn more about this blogger’s study abroad program: Eberhard-Karls University Tuebingen